Fullerton College Centennial

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STUDENT STORIES: ANONYMOUS STUDENT

ANONYMOUS STUDENT

I am a student at Fullerton College since fall 2011. What you may know about me is that like many students, I’ve experience life-changing challenges and twists in my life. With senior year of high school, you tend to picture popularity, excitement for the future and strong goals. However, for the first time in my life I’ve experienced fear; and at that moment I didn’t know what or how to act. Senior year for the most part, was successful and I was getting ready to enter college; but a week before graduation, my grandfather passed from unexpected stroke. That accomplishment I felt seemed to be swept away. I felt completely torn: unsure of what to feel; should I have felt happy or sad? I think my closeness to my grandfather added to the “stress”. The torn feeling and that all my happiness was gone. The feeling of what was the purpose of completing hard work and not being able celebrating; and eventually dying like the same cycle my grandfather experienced. I mean what was the whole purpose?

My mind was consumed with “hate” and a negative view and I think it was due to the reason that I never experienced loss and I didn’t really comprehend it. Eventually my consummation of anger and confusion seem to have me in a distraught manner; treating my family and friends indifferently. It wasn’t that I was upset about not getting the graduation I wanted, but just the confusion of not knowing how to feel of the current situation. And my father’s reaction to his father’s death wasn’t exactly helpful in my cause either.

Eventually after months, one of my professors’ notices what was up with me and asked me what was going on. I think everyone just thought I was going through a phase. And not a lot of people asked me what was going on due to the main reason I was very lax about it, I didn’t really explain myself much either nor did I think I had any reason too. Eventually, my professor noticed that I was different and I wasn’t doing so well in school either. My professor brought to my realization that life, it’s a cycle; people come and go, but the most important part is that I need to cherish the happy memories I had and accept that with time it will heal all wounds. And it was true, with time; I had moments where I cried and to think that I’m working hard to make him proud. At the same time my professor suggested that I think of and focus on the happy thoughts that centered on him and that he is in a good place now. Eventually, I came to my own realization that I needed that time to mourn, and realized my dream of being a doctor and realizing I wanted to work in the field to aid those with heart problems. Essentially, I understood that time and life is a cycle and sometimes we just accept that people eventually pass. And with this I became stronger and I gained a new perspective on life, and I am who I am today, because of it.